Thursday, December 3

Making Enemies with Every Illiterate and Socially Ostracized 16 Year Old Girl.

I don't get the whole Twilight saga bullshit, the book is poorly written (not that I've read it but i had a composition professor read an excerpt of it in class & everyone laughed at the inverted sentence structures, he claims the entire book is as pathetically written) & the fans are mainly obese 16 year old girls who jump onto this sad little bandwagon of fantasy, seemingly unaware of the fact that they're probably developing deep psychological issues by further removing themselves from reality. How do i know this?, It's the fmylife for twilight.


"Today was my 16th birthday I went to see New Moon for the 5th time and took my Edward and Bella doll my friend got me. They both had a seat of their own. I thought it was perfectly reasonable. MLIT"

The saddest part of this situation is not that she was sitting alone at a movie theater on her 16th birthday, it's that she had to lie and say "that my friend bought me" hunny, we know you don't have friends, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting alone in a movie theater with your dolls on your 16th birthday.

"I have a life-sized cardboard cutout of Edward in my room. When i saw New Moon again I bought an extra ticket and had Edward sit next to me. Best date ever. MLIT"

... There's a recession fucktard. You just spent an extra 20-some dollars to look like a complete retard in public. There's a reason you couldn't bring a real person to sit next to you.

"Today i was half naked and getting dressed when my Edward cutout fell on top of me. Instead of pushing it off, I exclaimed, "Oh Edward! Not this early!" Then my mother walked in and took him out of my room saying "it's for your own good" MLIT"

Sure. You were "getting dressed" and your cardboard cut out "fell on you" you definitely weren't masterbating to a life sized picture of an actor... definitely not.

"Today I woke up from a nap on my girlfriends couch only to realize she had covered me in Twilight body glitter while i was asleep. FML MLIT"



  1. HAhaha, ok firstly those people probably already have some serious obsessive dependancy issues, Twilight is just a medium through which they can display their abnormalities.

    Second, I know tons of people, including myself who are fans of the story and still completely functioning human beings. It's not that the books afford literary merit by any means, but the story is very compelling and interesting. I seriously thought a certain incessant friend of mine was insane for liking it and wanting me to read it. It's just a very strange phenomenon once you actually read the story. So, I suggest you do so, then perhaps you'll be the only female ever not to like it.


  2. The story about vampires?! Yeah i don't think you'll have to worry about me swooning all over the place.

  3. Hahahhahahahahahahahahah
    I could go on, but I won't.