Monday, August 31

Odd Molly: Still Odd for Fall.

Given that i had an alter - ego who somehow magically reflected my personality in her clothes (the part that wasn't over-worked & lazy) i suspect she would wear a lot of Odd Molly. The fall line is set to hit boutiques any day now, if it hasn't already and i did me some winternet stalking and picked out my favorite pieces.


Heidi Montag's Super Famous Now!

Ordinarily I am not at all bothered by the Pratt's quest to annoy everyone on the face of the planet, I've never chatted up some friends about the "lady of the night" clothing line & I was even on her side for the first season post Heidi - Lauren friendship, mainly because I think Lauren Conrad's whiney. (Yeah I watched The Hills, I was like 16 when it came out, coolest thing ever, whatever.) However, Given that i do love to watch beauty queens answer questions about global disparity, i happened to catch her first live performance ever on the Miss Universe Pageant!
Needless to say, it was completely mortifying and i was embarrassed for her. Again i didn't put much thought into it, I wasn't passionately outraged in regards to her inability to dance or even lip-sync properly.

(You can watch the performance HERE if you need proof that it was excruciating. )

The next day i was absorbing me some Anderson Cooper man candy & came across his take on the abomination of dance. I won't lie, i laughed about it but i still felt kind of sorry for her. I mean I'd agree with anything Anderson Cooper said, he could have reported that Heidi Montag was giving birth to the new Messiah and I'd send her a gift basket. I just felt bad because she obviously hates herself so severely, she feels the need to act out this painstakingly pathetic show in order to validate herself as a person.

(You can watch him talking HERE, I'll give you awhile to listen, put it on pause, stare at him... whatever you need to do)


Then i saw a part of an interveiw she did for The Aftershow on MTV with show host Jessi Cruickshank, in The Bahamas the day after Heidi's performance, with the "Pop Princess" herself and hubby Spencer Pratt. The following dialogue took place somewhere between delusion and low self-esteem:

Jessi Cruickshank : " So [now that the performance is over] who are the people that you feel like you're now on par with?"
Heidi Pratt: "Michael Jackson"
Spencer Pratt: "I mean, I was saying she's a modern day, 2010 Michael Jackson"
JC: "2010 Michael Jackson is dead Spencer"
SP: No, but I'm saying, here it is. It's living. Like the Holy Spirit. Like Michael Jackson's in heaven. The Holy Spirit now has extra Michael Jackson juice. So boom. For all we know, Heidi is possessed with some of that Michael JAckson divine spirit. You feel me?"
JC: "Do you think Heidi's going to be bigger than Michael Jackson?"
SP: "Oh, way bigger."

1. On heavy drugs.
2. On heavy drugs.

There are no other explanations.
Can you imagine Michael Jackson's children having to hear that some attention hungry hussy, lip-synching at the intermission of a beauty pageant is channelling your dead fathers "fame juice"?

Brittany Out.

Friday, August 28

Something Pretty ft. Steel Magnolias

Oh why hello there, new fabulous things from Anthropologie's Fall Stock!
These were my favorites:

( From Left: The Bubble Bath Bangle, Eden In Autumn Bracelet, Rousseau Necklace )

(From Left: Belsay Bangle, Poinsettia Earrings, Doodled Curls Necklace)

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize"
- Steel Magnolias

Tuesday, August 25

If You Don't Like This I Won't Be Your Friend

So I had this website recommended to me by a carny (okay well not exactly a carny, but a carny-esq, seedy looking character) at the farmers market a few weeks ago. - it's a type of micro-financing, specifically meant for empowering female artists around the world. They provide these artisans with: micro-finance loans, mentoring from established designers, as well as facilitating a proper outlet in which the crafts can be sold -either locally or internationally through the website.
"Instills pride of ownership, preserve ancient artistic traditions & successfully moves women from poverty to self sufficiency" -Build A Nest's Mission Statement
The empowerment of women in developing countries is a cause that i feel strongly connected to. Women are struggling all over the world, facing hardships which are further complicated by a lack of education, a caste system in which they're regarded as inferior to men & without opportunity to contribute to society. They often end up in factory jobs to support they're family where they work too many hours, for too little pay, in poor conditions. They remain undernourished & their family suffers, under these circumstances it's nearly impossible to break the cycle of poverty, but Build A Nest makes it possible.
The products are absolutely beautiful and it gives us an incredible opportunity to support these women.

(From Left: Salsa Bowls From a Loaner Recipient in Mexico, Sequin Clutch From a Loaner Recipient in Turkey & Hand-blown Glass Drop Earrings From a Loaner Recipient in Turkey. )

August be like.

August 2009.

This Wasn't Challenging: i Love Talking About Myself Today

The 50 Quick Facts Challenge.

1. I believe that everyone has a specific energy attached to them and different people interpret it differently.
2. I'm faster in water than I am on land.
3. I saw on Grey's Anatomy that a hug calms the sympathetic nervous system & now every time i hug someone i wonder if I'm being physically calmed.
4. I mumble in my sleep.
5. I need a certain amount of creative chaos to survive.
6. The first thing i said this morning was "Why is the light on? Why do you hate me?"
7. I'm excited for tomorrow.
8. I hate the taste of pickles & bacon. Especially together.
9. I like going to restaurants by myself so that i can eavesdrop on other peoples conversations.
10. I don't like any salad dressing that's opaque.
11. I don't want to drive because accidents involving vehicles kill more people than heart disease does.
12. I love clothes because i like the idea of wearing art on my body.
13. I want to go to Europe next summer but I'm afraid of traveling alone because i don't trust strange foreign men - or locally based men, and i don't want to travel with a tour guide because then i won't be able to do what i want to do.
14. I'm afraid my cup always looks half empty, but i don't think I'm a pessimist, i just expect a lot out of myself.
15. When i retire i want to buy a vineyard and spend my life getting dirty and drinking wine.
16. Lately I've been feeling nauseated in the mornings _ & NO I'm not pregnant, I think the dawn wants my bile.
17. My father wanted to name me Stephanie, my parents named me Brittany & i changed it to Edie.
18. I don't like sports, i don't like to play them and i have no interest in watching them. I hate it when women pretend they do.
19. My baby blanket is in near-to-mint condition.
20. I'm naturally drawn to selfish people.
21. I'm very curious about peoples lives, not in what they do, but what they intend to do, which brought them to where they are in this exact moment in time.
22. I don't really like animals.
23. I can't sleep with the door open because I'm afraid someone would walk in while i was sleeping and i would never notice.
24. I prefer my pug Chase over real people.
25. I'm afraid of how often i change my mind - but i know that everyone has to evolve.
26. When i was younger i just wanted to be famous, now i just want to be heard.
27. When i was little I had an imaginary friend named Henry Fossy, he was a character from my favorite movie & the first novel i ever read: Charlottes Web.
28. I thought i liked cats, then i lived with a roommate who had a cat. I realize now that i hate cats.
29. I don't think getting married young is a bad idea. I do however, think that having children before you're 30 should be illegal.
30. I always forget to wear my seat belt.
31. I have dreams about the people i love being in violent car accidents on deserted roads.
32. I don't like it when women devalue themselves in everyday conversation, it bothers me, it makes me believe that we truly aren't equal.
33. I like thin crust pizza with JUST cheese on it.
34. My favorite flowers are peonies.
35. My favorite flavor of ice cream is New York Cherry Cheese Cake
36. I like smoothies but i never make my own because they don't taste the same as they do when you pay for them.
37. I've never failed a test.
38. I can't figure out how to de-subscribe to Gweneth Paltrow's goddamn newsletter. NO ONE ELSE GOES ON A 6 MONTH CLEANSE GWENETH, NO ONE SPENDS THE PRICE OF A SINGLE FAMILY HOME ON A JACKET BUT YOU. You're rich & you don't eat. We get it.
39. I have a charge account at the boutique i work at, i think it's about as dangerous as giving a four year old a loaded gun.
40. The best nights of the summer have been off color and spontaneous.
41. I love all of my jobs.
42. I love broccoli, no one ever liked it but me.
43. It's hard to find people who are easy to travel with, but so far I've been very lucky.
44. The last place i went out to eat was to Peters Drive-In with Shane, i had a whole cheeseburger & a butterscotch milkshake. Shane didn't want to admit he was impressed but I'm sure he was.
45. My new favorite song is "Come Pick Me Up" by Ryan Adams.
46. My favorite colors are light soft pink and an earthy green.
47. If i knew what kind of career i was going to have & i knew it wasn't something terribly professional I'd have my entire body covered in tattoos.
48. I'm so painfully bad at math.
49. It's 4 o'clock in the morning.
50. I've been drinking 2 cups of coffee/ day since i was 16. When i tried to stop i slept between 12-15 hours everyday.

Sunday, August 23

Oh Look! Another Thing That I Need!

Etsy Love & "The Owl Jewelry Obsession"

Though i feel no personal connection with owls - except for maybe when i was 12 & girls in Jr. high called me "Popeye" because my eyes came too far out of my face they said... swallowing repressed memory.
ANYWAY. I began an obsession with collecting owl jewelry quite some time ago & Etsy has, yet again added fuel to an already colossal inferno of debt. Being both a nerd and an owl lover (Side Note: Why is it red-eyed? Is it high? Is it possessed? Is it possible that i like it even more now that i can't tell?) i absolutely adored this piece.

Wednesday, August 19

The Performance Poetry Craze!

Okay, "Spoken Word Poetry" isn't necessarily new, nor is it a craze but this week it's my obsession (that is of course until i move on to something new - like sculptures of ankles or something.)
My Personal Top 3 Favorites Performance Poets Are:

Shira Erlichman: She was the Worcester Youth Grand Slam Champion in 2004 and the Worcester Grand Slam Champion in 2005, she was nominated for a Pushcart Prize, the Best of the Small Presses series.
My favorite of her performances are
(Which is more of a comical piece.)
(Which reminded me of my brother.)

Sarah Kay: Who is apparently very difficult to find information on, she's just a really amazing story teller and her piece "B" made me cry,

Talor Mali: Apart from being an extremely successful Slam Poet, he also spent 9 years teaching english, history and math & conducts workshops for teachers & students all over the world.
My favorite, of the performances I've seen, include:
(Which is both comical & profound)

I hope you enjoy them... & that this properly concludes this blog entry. The End.

Monday, August 17

She Wolf. No seriously.

So Shakira is making a come back and she's doing it in a unitard.
Her recently released single "She Wolf" has just spawned a music video to prove that her hips still aren't lying, wether she's hanging out in a pink cave or swinging around a cage in someone's basement (never before was i so aware that a cage is composed of opportunities to dance like a stripper ) I don't know what her motivation was for looking this stupid in public, but there is no way she sees this now and goes "Oh yeah, that looks good."

The lyrics to this song are dreadful, however the added panting and howling really adds a specific element of magic to her eloquent performance. Pretty sure I've watched it at least twice everyday for the entire week.

K soo, we start off the music video and she's sneaking out at night in a full body unitard and two different pairs of shoes to go into her closet, nothing out of place here.
Turns out the closet happens to be a portal to a pink cave that reminded me of the Magic School Bus episode when they go inside Arnold. Anyway so as she's dancing around inside Arnold the new "Robot" is born... no she's not just trying not to fall down... that's a dance move.
Now stop at 0:39 so you can absorb what you've just seen. Also note that she's framing her vaginal package with her hands. Classy. Proceed.
ANNNNDDD the cage dancing! Essentially someone asked her "Are you inappropriately flexible?" Evidently, she answered yes and my hypothetical character went "Bill! Get the cage ready!"
Stop at 0:42. Holy shit legs all over the place. Someone's been doing they're Tiabo! I know i didn't look that good the last time i was wearing MY nude leotard and my jeweled stilettos in a cage in someone's basement. No sir.
K press play. Around 0:49 we have to watch the poor dear struggle with back spasms. I want you to keep watching & be mindful of the fact that this had to take a lot of careful planning, set changes, costumes, choreography etc. This means that a significant number of people actually thought that this looked good.
Around 0:56 she's doing an improved version of "the dice".... At about 1 minute a swift wind finds its way inside the cave...
STOP at 1:10. THIS dance move is the WORST possible thing anyone could do with their body. Play. Enjoy the rest of that. Keep going... just some really subtle classy moves. You've probably heard the howl by now, followed by some panting. That just seems horrible. Until ... 1:50! Now here's the great thing about this, they actually go so far as to try and convince you that she is actually wearing this outfit in public, last time i worked my unitard at the club i was escorted out.
2:06, you get maybe the 3rd best dance move in the video, I'll be learning this to a tee and then breaking it out at the club, I'm already so popular.
2:25 This one was so awesome they cut to it twice. I can't tell if she's dancing or having some kind of seizure... she's really got her serious face on. She's really serious about looking this stupid.
Then some hopping around barefoot on a rooftop in some kind of sheer top. Nothing out of the ordinary here, basically a reenactment of any one of my week nights, really.
3:19 just rubbing her tummy and spreading her legs. Nothing new.
We end on a high note with a crotch shot. I think the best part of this music video is the part where she falls off of a building.

Thankfully, Youtube allows comments and this particular forum was a good place for all of the stupid people to identify themselves.

hotgay57 (8 hours ago)
I love Shakira. Love the video, she fainaly did something that moves on from plain predictable videos!


ScarletFever(10 hours ago)
I agree with you.
It's done in a classy way. All about the moves too.
I love her moves. I'm learning them myself. :)

Just classy. I don't know about you but I'm picturing that 13 year old doing the innovated robot in front of her bathroom mirror & i just feel so sorry for her, because in a few years she's going to tare her eyes out in embarrassment that she was ever this slow.

Loresong(1 day ago)
I have to say that in the first time I saw the video, I really got in shock 'cause this wasn't the style of shakira I am used to hear, but I keep going watching it, and now I really understood the really meaning of the song and video, she represents how it could be a wolf that isn't comfortable with her situation 'cause she's tired of wating to realise her diseires, represents her instincts and how much she is looking that,

I didn't cut this off this was the entire comment. I think it just speaks for itself.

4life(1 day ago)
I mean she's trying to follow the Lady Gaga trend, and Ive known about Shakira since she had black her and was mostly known by my fellow latinos, and when no one in America gave a shit about her until she followed the britney trend with her blonde hair.

Here's a good opportunity to express the uniqueness of your heritage.

pink_gorgeous(1 day ago)
let's get one thing straight here people it's a proven fact that 'sex sells' sex is everywhere, in the media, magazines, on tv, and definitely on the internet, there is no escaping it so get over it, calling her a whore and a slut because she can dance better then you isnt going to do much good either, jealous much?

Oh, thanks mensa candidate for the social commentary.

Behold: The Power Of Literature Prevails Beyond Fiction 102

The Summer Reading List

The best part of my summer is the extra time i have to read! I wish i could tell you this unfortunate lack of social life and stimulating conversation was a recent discovery. Alas, I've always been a loser. As this season circles the drain and the glorious love of autumn falls upon us (pun most definitely intended- ha ha I'm painful), i thought I'd better generously share my summer reading!
I'm big on completely destroying my books until they're literally held together with elastic bands because i think that means they are loved (a book binding intact is an uninteresting book), so I tend to do a lot of note taking & underlining so instead of telling you what the book is about I'll just give you the title author & one of my favorite quotes.


Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood
"I planned my death carefully; unlike my life which meandered along from one thing to another, despite my feeble attempts to control it. My life had a tendency to spread, to get flabby, to scroll and festoon like the frame of a baroque mirror, which came from following the line of least resistance"

The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood
"So I'm finally going mad," she thought, "like everybody else. What a nuisance. Though i suppose it will be a change."

The Torn Skirt by Rebecca Godfrey (Reread)
"Broken locks and bruised knees and borrowed lip gloss and rain on the streets. "

Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald
"Somethings when discussed with a dear husband or brother, are only poisen. Good women discuss these things the way epidemiologists identify and track disease without alarming the public. This is woman's work. Men are unfitted for it by nature & should be protected from it the same way women shouldn't have to go down in the mines. Men are so innocent. "

The Metropolitan Life by Fran Lebowitz (Reread)
"Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep."

The Girl on the Fridge, A Collection of Short Stories by Etgar Keret
"I roam around her soul, and it's like a deserted apartment... the whole thing's kitsch. In the end, she'll die, even though they say she's gifted. She'll go down on me and she'll die. She'll die and she'll go down on me. In the name of free choice." (From the story 'Alternative')

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
"He... saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke - the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met..."