Monday, August 31

Heidi Montag's Super Famous Now!

Ordinarily I am not at all bothered by the Pratt's quest to annoy everyone on the face of the planet, I've never chatted up some friends about the "lady of the night" clothing line & I was even on her side for the first season post Heidi - Lauren friendship, mainly because I think Lauren Conrad's whiney. (Yeah I watched The Hills, I was like 16 when it came out, coolest thing ever, whatever.) However, Given that i do love to watch beauty queens answer questions about global disparity, i happened to catch her first live performance ever on the Miss Universe Pageant!
Needless to say, it was completely mortifying and i was embarrassed for her. Again i didn't put much thought into it, I wasn't passionately outraged in regards to her inability to dance or even lip-sync properly.

(You can watch the performance HERE if you need proof that it was excruciating. )

The next day i was absorbing me some Anderson Cooper man candy & came across his take on the abomination of dance. I won't lie, i laughed about it but i still felt kind of sorry for her. I mean I'd agree with anything Anderson Cooper said, he could have reported that Heidi Montag was giving birth to the new Messiah and I'd send her a gift basket. I just felt bad because she obviously hates herself so severely, she feels the need to act out this painstakingly pathetic show in order to validate herself as a person.

(You can watch him talking HERE, I'll give you awhile to listen, put it on pause, stare at him... whatever you need to do)


Then i saw a part of an interveiw she did for The Aftershow on MTV with show host Jessi Cruickshank, in The Bahamas the day after Heidi's performance, with the "Pop Princess" herself and hubby Spencer Pratt. The following dialogue took place somewhere between delusion and low self-esteem:

Jessi Cruickshank : " So [now that the performance is over] who are the people that you feel like you're now on par with?"
Heidi Pratt: "Michael Jackson"
Spencer Pratt: "I mean, I was saying she's a modern day, 2010 Michael Jackson"
JC: "2010 Michael Jackson is dead Spencer"
SP: No, but I'm saying, here it is. It's living. Like the Holy Spirit. Like Michael Jackson's in heaven. The Holy Spirit now has extra Michael Jackson juice. So boom. For all we know, Heidi is possessed with some of that Michael JAckson divine spirit. You feel me?"
JC: "Do you think Heidi's going to be bigger than Michael Jackson?"
SP: "Oh, way bigger."

1. On heavy drugs.
2. On heavy drugs.

There are no other explanations.
Can you imagine Michael Jackson's children having to hear that some attention hungry hussy, lip-synching at the intermission of a beauty pageant is channelling your dead fathers "fame juice"?

Brittany Out.

No comments:

Post a Comment