In an effort to avoid killing people i choose not to drive. This means that out of necessity i use public transit & it's my experience that the city of Calgary only employs crazy people as bus drivers, for instance, yesterday the driver was rambling to no one & in letting someone onto the bus said
"I was going to go to Banff but then i had to come & get you guys so..."
Last month i sat next to a 40 year old man who had Britney Spears' "Womanizer" blaring from his head phones. There is a well known homeless guy in Calgary who leans in so that he's 4 inches from your face & asks you how your day is, he once showed Hayley pictures of himself with various girls at the zoo. My opinion? He rides transit lines all day long & just never gets off, really why would he?
So because the little music players i used to dl don't work anymore I'm just going to take the liberty of listing off all of the songs I have loved this month. The ones I can't take off repeat are bolded.
So my heart was completely broken when i recently found out the adorable child actor who played Spanky on the Little Rascals now works at Wal-Mart. He doesn't even work as like a waiter or a bartender or something... he works at Wal-Mart, like stocking shelves and greeting people with happy face stickers. WTF OBAMA! Fix the economy quicker! Give fuckin Spanky his pride back.
So it turns out prostitot Noah Cyrus, Miley Cyrus' (you know the really good role model?) little sister, is coming out with a new line of lingerie for children 0-12 years old. LINGERIE. Do children wear lingerie? Is that acceptable now? Between that and the Bratz dolls i think I'll go ahead and pickle my uterus now. Put it in a sparkly earn above my bed and sleep soundly beneath it. Without the pitter patter of a child size stiletto's marking up the hallway & shitting through the diaper thong. If you have doubts about the fact that every after school activity has been infused with a Lolita vibe... Here is a seven year olds dance recital that will make you want to mutate your genitals.
So for the purposes of focusing on the positive, The following is a short list of things that have made me happy this year so far: Etgar Keret, lysine, Orba, making clever puns about the informal uses of the ipad in my head (imaxipad, ipadded bra), cocoa butter lotion, Margaret Atwood's "Year of The Flood", thick cottons socks, english lectures that are more like comedy shows, ice fog, hot pad, Phil & Sebastian Latte's, Naked Green Machine Juice, incredibly soft blankets from Urban Barn, sleeping during the day, really adorable text messages from my little boyfriend in the morning, Dragonette, home made Sangria, Emanuel Latreau's amazing chocolate croissants, story prompts, editing other peoples work, the way frost covers bare branches, when Chase runs to get something, runs into a piece of furniture instead & walks toward you with his head down like he's really ashamed... that's the cutest thing, JacksonPollok.org, Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, watching TMZ videos of Tila Tequila crying, Make it Or Break it, Shoppers Optimum Card, raking up Shoppers Optimum points in just reeaaallly inappropriate purchases, coasting around FFFFOUND, Phillip Defranco, raising up the class average (FACE), Poladroid, That guy who asked the governor of New Jersey if he could fist pump, fingerless mittens, giving presents, black pomeranians, Awesome Blossoms, themed doorbells, Pac-Xon and OH MY GOD THIS
I'm sure everyone already knows what Poladroid is, but in case you don't know it's an application that you drag your photos onto it & then they are printed and develop on your desktop so it's pretty cool. Here are some of my own favorite pictures from my trip along the coast this summer.