The Armpit of America

SO a lot of people have been noticing MTVs newest bastard "Jersey Shore", it's like the real world but set in the armpit of America, with self-proclaimed "Guidos" (which is a term i've only recently discovered to be a reference to greasy italian guys with stupid hair & spray on tans... think "My New Haircut") & "Guidettes" (skanky italian girls... with the tranny make up & the bump-its.) I hate how much i love this show, i feel so much more emotionally mature and intelligent when i watch it. My favorite character, Snookers, (oh did i mention there are knicknames involved?!) gets punched right in the face this week, FINALLY. (Video above, watch those hair extensions fly!) Someone's already been kicked off the show, Angela or something "The Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" (because apparently there's only one person with a fat ass in Staten Island) couldn't go to work because she was devastated after breaking up with her married boyfriend, and when her boss came to speak to her she hid in the bathroom (like any other adult), she'll be forever immortalized by the words "I'm a bartender, i do great things". Most of the other characters aren't particularly important. If i were to be a Jersey Shore cast member (though i don't think there's room for anyone remotely educated) my name would be Tammy Mortadella. How do i know this you ask?! The Jersey Shore Name Generator! Anyway, get into this trashy show for me will you?!

Sidenote: Punching women... no. Punching anyone isn't cool. Especially women... especially when they have a poof & a bad knickname . Definitely don't hit those girls.