Rusty Rockets

My favorite twitter friend who isn't my friend is Russell Brand. He recently married Katy Perry who i like almost immediately after i watched her interview with Secrest on the Red Carpet at the VMA's, when asked what she had in her clutch she had only a lock of Taylor Swifts hair. Therefor I approve  of the marital bond, you're welcome. Here are my favorite Russell Brand tweets. 

If life gives you lemons, politely thank life, then, when life's not looking, throw the lemons into a duck pond.

12:41 PM Aug 13th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

@katyperry Erm,I thought a Shirley Temple sounded butch. What should I order? A pint of HEROIN!! A crack popsicle? Crack-sicle?

12:17 PM Jul 5th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

7:23 PM Aug 16th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

In Brooklyn "showing off" for a job. Take that Grays School Careers Advisor- if that's your real name - which I doubt.

10:57 AM Jul 10th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Mum. Leonardo DiCaprio sneaked into my dream and tried to plant ideas. In other news I've decided to become a spy. Send condoms.

5:23 PM Jul 17th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I have been watching Fox News for six hours and there has been no news about foxes. #Iwantmymoneyback

2:10 PM Aug 4th via web

@katyperry Prop8 dropped! Now you can lose the wig, lipstick and frocks we can wed as a pair of Cali-hunks.

7:52 PM Aug 4th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Twitter doesn't recognise the spelling of the word "twitter". And this blackberry isn't a berry. And my rocket is rust free.

5:27 PM Aug 18th via Twitter for BlackBerry®