If life gives you lemons, politely thank life, then, when life's not looking, throw the lemons into a duck pond.
@katyperry Erm,I thought a Shirley Temple sounded butch. What should I order? A pint of HEROIN!! A crack popsicle? Crack-sicle?
Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.
In Brooklyn "showing off" for a job. Take that Grays School Careers Advisor- if that's your real name - which I doubt.
Mum. Leonardo DiCaprio sneaked into my dream and tried to plant ideas. In other news I've decided to become a spy. Send condoms.
I have been watching Fox News for six hours and there has been no news about foxes. #Iwantmymoneyback
2:10 PM Aug 4th via web
@katyperry Prop8 dropped! Now you can lose the wig, lipstick and frocks we can wed as a pair of Cali-hunks.
Twitter doesn't recognise the spelling of the word "twitter". And this blackberry isn't a berry. And my rocket is rust free.