I love children, I'm really good with them - i enjoy being with them the 10% of the day they aren't pooping, crying & ruining things. Though it's likely not ALL children are monsters, I don't personally remember destroying anything (except that i used to pull everything out of shelves...I don't like shelves.. don't trust them) & i know a handful of children who probably wouldn't be capable of the glimpse of parenthood below, but i know that my younger brother and sister are permanently banned from Bonkers, which should be a surefire representation of the kind of children they were, in fact growing up with them reminds me of my newest form of birth control ShitMyKidsRuined.com, lets communally review the extent of the damage of procreating in a segment called, "Things Children Destroy (other than your social life, sanity & standards of cleanliness):"
Your white sofa.
Your Persian Rug. Pretty Much just all of your furniture.
Your self-esteem.
Your sex life.
Your Pet.
Your plumbing.
Your only mental escape.
Most means of communication.
See... told you.
Anyway, they ruin everything. Use condoms.
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