Monday, April 12

Hands Off The Freak Show.

In some smutty celebrity news, everyone and their dog has probably seen pictures of Heidi Montags gross stone face by now, the girl had about a million surgeries so that she could ditch the vibrant young look for the sad slopped together remains of any other former starlet with an immobile forehead. She appeared on Ryan Secrest the other day to grace the public with stories of all of the completely unnecessary surgeries she underwent, 

Secrest: Let's go back to your breasts.
Montag: Haha great!
Secrest: No pain associated, right?
Montag: No
Secrest: But when you hugged me, you kind of hugged softly.
Montag: Well I'm very weird about hugging people now because I've had so much done that if somebody accidentally bumps your nose or your face...
Secrest: It falls off?
Montag: I'm very careful. I'm very fragile. 

She has to avoid human contact?! How in Gods name does she have sex with that slimy husband of hers? They must have to put a glory hole in the giant bubble I imagine the rolls around in at home. But seriously, it's pretty sad that at 20something she took apart her entire face and chest so that she could walk around looking 50 and avoiding human touch. 

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